The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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