VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
