Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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