For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
