..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
