just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
