Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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