So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I cannot find my penis.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
