Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
