mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
