Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
