Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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