I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
