who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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