You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
