He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
