At least make sure they are 18
Why
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
