I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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