Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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