3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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