did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
