I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
