So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
