she looked like the bat from fern gully.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
