dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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