So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
