i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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