C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Life is so much better after having sex.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
