He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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