im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
