lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize