For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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