Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
