You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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