basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
