I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize