I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
