Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize