Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize