Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
