the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
