i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
