I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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