i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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