I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
