he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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