Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
