How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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