Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
