The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
