everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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