i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
