im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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