At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
