This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
