Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
