To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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