Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
