It's just like the Real World with babies
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
